Abstinence and Faith
Being abstinent doesn’t mean I wake up each day void of the experience of lustful temptation. I’ve had it said to me that if God has intervened my desire will have left me.
Well hells bells! God most certainly did Not deliver that celibacy package to my door! There is no magic that makes these temptations disappear.
The fact that I am a Christian women of Faith, practitioner of abstinence, does not mean I’m exempt of desires or lust. I’ve had people in bible study look at me in shock when I tell them I’m still a nympho, they say, it’s speaking my past into my present. But if I said I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be owning the struggle I deal with daily. Respecting the works God has done to transform my heart.
I described sex and my addiction to men and sex as my own heroine addiction. Though my heart has been arrested by God and my love for Jesus coupled with my self respect have left me with no taste for the things I once did as I once indulged in them.
Every day still I’m tempted in real life. Sexy, Smart, wonderful men are plentiful in Los Angeles, CA. Instead of my old habit of running into the arms of any man I desire or lust. Now the discernment on my heart is strong and regularly tested but still I used to never look up, look at people, see people. Notice those that noticed me. I was oblivious and it had a cost, a price that came as a lesson, as all the best gifts in life often do.
I’ve learned to open my eyes and open my heart to the many divine blessings God has for me, a wild silly nerd girl nympho that loves Jesus! This is my journey and no one can tell me what my experience should be. Cause I’m the only one God assigned to live me and I am grateful for the honor.
May 2019 inspire you to be the most best you that you can be! Love yourself, love your family and love your community. I need you all to be strong and healthy but it’s okay to admit we are learning and growing as we stumble our way through with the occasional moments when as we fall it looks graceful even though it feels like a hard fall from grace.
Please be kind and gentle with yourself as you’re doing the best you can! I want to be friends for life! Let’s walk the journey as sisters and brothers. Don’t forget each day, Love is a super power and you’re a super hero!