Obsessed

What’s your heart condition?

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Sexy and single in LA means many people are on the job to get me mated up on the daily! Like it’s a marathon and we gonna win! God bless bless your beautiful souls! And a GIANT Thank YOU!

To be honest, I’ve needed every last second of single to get my heart and mind right. I hate to admit I was that messed up emotionally and psych wise, but it would be a lie if I didn’t.

Every day I learn deeper more honest truths about my heart, constantly checking my intentions and desires. Exhausting while being also quite exhilarating. Growing up to the wise old woman I dream to one day be. So far from there yet but reminding myself with my practice of CCE, Consistent Conscious Effort, I shall over come myself. 

I’ve been doing bible study with Cochran Avenue Baptist Church and it’s been more than eye opening. I’ve heard over the years God spoken about as a, “Jealous God”, and I really never quite got it until sitting in Cochran Avenue Vacation Bible school with Pastor Johnson teaching, summer 2018. I finally understood that the reason my relationships never worked is I was putting them before God.

Blew my mind because it was SO TRUE. I made consessions of my own beliefs for years to appease men, to prove I loved them more than, “anything” including God. Epic discovery on my faith journey.

God is a jealous God and if I really want to have a real live Godly relationship, I’ve got to be the person I’m looking for. Yes, of course my own best friend but deeper than that. My love for God must be so sincere and strong that it withstands the test of love on my faith.

And He must be in love with God before me so when I’m weak he may lead me back home to our Lord. Intense stuff and a lot to ask a man but I’m too comitting to give the same of myself and more. 

Having been in love this is no small ask. I need a love that will please my Holy Father. I desire and deserve to be loved like my Holy Father desires for me.

I’m so obsessed with God and so blessed, it would be silly of me not to be genuinely mindful of a suitable mate. I’ve always said, “if he isn’t a man you can see yourself marrying, he isn’t a man you should date.”  Isn’t the point of dating to get to marriage?

With so many phenomenal men on Earth, it’s easy to be whimsical about love and dating. But love is serious business. It can shred your reputation if you break the wrong heart. A man denied, love unrequited, can be your worst enemy or your best friend, depending on his heart condition. Loving a man is no guarantee you will survive his love for you. 

Not all men are bad, in fact there are more good men than bad. I think men who hurt women are not necessarily bad, they have strong emotions and they don’t know how to manage that powerful painful energy and that becomes dangerous. I meantioned, “heart condition “ earlier in this post. Let’s unwrap that.

 

What is the condition of your heart? 

 

Are you vengeful or forgiving? Do you easily forgive? And if not, how do you choose to deal with your emotions? Do you use your mind to begin to strategize revenge? Or Do you reflect and accept your part in situations and seek resolution?  How you answer these questions, is your heart condition.

I know, what does all this have to do with love you ask? Well everything! This “heart condition” is real! It’s a thing! In fact, it is the X factor in loving good healthy relationships. Depending on the condition of your lovers heart that is what shall lead your love and life.

Having had my heart broken and quite sadly having been the breaker of so many beautiful hearts. For that… I am so very sorry to so many. God bless you each and may you enjoy the love you are meant to have from the perfect person God sent for you.

Obviously, I needed to get to the nitty gritty of my own heart condition and who I really am! Praise God I choose forgiveness. I have a better grasp of who I am and how powerful the spell of love cast can be. So hopefully I do not break more hearts nor break my own. God first and we can build a life long love affair on that.

I’m not perfect nor am I looking for a “perfect” man. If we are committed to loving God, our triumphs and storms will be covered by his grace. Loving each other and our families is paradise on Earth! Let’s do that! Joyfully! 

 

 

 

 

I saw this post yesterday on Twitter (Thank you Pastor West) and it was the spark that lit the fire that I knew in that moment and now I finally have words for this. The, “why”, I’m still single though I’m desired and I too desire. I desire who God has for me more than me and my own heart condition can imagine.  How’s your heart? What is your heart condition?

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I live a low key high profile life in Los Angeles, CA and Portland, Oregon for the last 20 years. I'm also guilty of a notoriously scandalous sex and love life of past. A once Disciplinarian and co owner of the, "Red Velvet Torture Chamber", in Hollywood, CA. Affectionately known as the, "RVTC". April 19, 2001 Portland, Oregon, Rose Garden Arena now, MODA Center. I pissed off Angus Young of AC/DC for, "steeling my bloody show", as he put it. It was also his thought that I should... Well I guess you'll have to watch venussexlessinthecity.com for the rest of the story. one of many Sexless In The City tales I'll share about NOT sleeping my way to where I am.

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