Marriage : My Journey 

Proposed to first by Timothy Daniel Green in Gresham, Oregon 1994. For 7 years we fought life for our love! 

I’d been only 14 when I met him, though I admit I’d lied about my age and told him I was 16. And before you act all shocked, I’m glad I did. He had just graduated from U Of O with a Masters in Physics, Star Quarter Back for the Ducks and a MAC on the race Track. He was the total package: Mom was a writer and an executive assistant at Intel, his Dad, Vice President Of US Bank. He grew up on 14 acres of orchards in Oregon. We were an American love story written by the stars! Oh did I mention he was absolutely fucking gorgeous and smart! Dreams do come true ladies!

He was my All American Dream! And we were in a fairytale together but the moment the world got hold of my brilliant man, he submitted! Drugs, alcohol, lust were his war… 7 years he fought for his perfect dream girl in his white life. Being the true White All American male he was. He knew his family would never allow him a half Hispanic wife. So he vasalated between me and his blond cheerleader HS sweetheart, Michelle.

I was far too young to really understand the severity of his own prejudices he dealt with. By the time I reached 19, he was but a bore to me with his drama. He veered from our dream, our plan and All my illusions of who he was or who we would be had long since melted away. 

Tim cleaned up his act, Enlisted in the Marines to follow his Father’s footsteps and he was back on our dream plan. So obviously he had me on his mind. He asked me to spend the night with him before going off to boot camp, at that time I was dating my insecure Husband to be. He’d moved in with me and were had our new little life. 

I went to Tim that night with no intentions of sleeping with him and I did not. I’m certain he was disappointed but it was the right choice. 

I’d ended up moving to Jonesboro, GA with Ty Richard Crane, my ex husband. Only at the time he was just a boyfriend. I had no wild thoughts of marriage. I was still young.

His Mother however insisted we were married, though we lived in different homes on the same property she was concerned with what her church thought of our sinful life. 

Christmas Day he proposed to me. A cigar band in a ring box and a receipt for bridal set he put on layaway at Sears. 

We married January 1996 on the steps of the Chattanooga Tennessee Courthouse by a retired judge. 25$ for the marriage license and 20$ to the judge for his services. 

Then we spent the next 6 hrs spelunking Pigeon Mountain, 150 feet deep into Mother Earth. That was my favorite thing about our relationship. We did this regularly and it was the most magnificent feeling and experience. The beauty, the danger the discovery and pure live adventure.

It was 3 weeks before we had sex to concrete our marriage. I did not know it at the time but my ex had a crack addiction I knew nothing about. Only a baby and soooo naive!!!! Oh joy! The next months were a nightmare. 

My Father called two months into our marriage and threatened my husband because he’d done wrong and not asked permission, nor allowed me a proper wedding. Daddy was not pleased… 

Remember the ring box with the cigar band I’d received as my only Christmas gift. Yeah that… well after three months of my ex supposedly making payments weekly, I went with his Mom to pick up my wedding bands. Last payment in hand and alas… no rings… I was mortified. Humiliation was real and I didn’t find out it was a crack addiction that plagued our marriage until 9 months in when he putted himself one chill night hanging with his sister while we drank homemade mudslides. I was so fucking pissed. Again I was just a kid and this joker was ruining my life. I’d made the mistake when I married him I told him, “I’m only doing this once time.”  

Two weeks after we had been married he returned my bands. I never had a ring. After a year of being in his nightmare, I left him. 10 days before our 1 year and never went back. 

It took 19 years to get a divorce. He absolutely refused to let me go for just shy of two decades. Complete insanity! What’s his narrative? “I’m married and I refuse to divorce my wife but let’s date!”

I asked for nothing, took all the debt and walked away. Praise God just 6 weeks before my twins were born my ex being a well respected attorney in Palm Springs where we lived, knew a judge who took mercy on us and signed off on my divorce. Thank you Michael DeFrank, Thank you Judge and Thank God! Finally fucking free! 

2002 my ex falsified divorce papers and sent them to me, until November 2009, I thought I was divorced. 

After leaving GA January 1997, I’d moved to LA and had met my “soul mate” and I was living in a great wild adventure. 

Tim was stationed at Camp Pendleton and he had saved 20k by this time and wanted to buy me a home to grow our family in and make him breakfast each day as his loving wife. I had already decided the normal life wasn’t going to work for me. If I ate the all American dream cake I was going to be his wife living his dream and never fulfill my own dreams. I’d grown so much while he was dicking off our future. 

All of a sudden that perfect dream no longer appealed to me. And my destiny in Hollywood was set.

Read more posts on my blog to see where my Sexless In The City lifestyle has taken me. 

VIAVenus Banuelos
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I live a low key high profile life in Los Angeles, CA and Portland, Oregon for the last 20 years. I'm also guilty of a notoriously scandalous sex and love life of past. A once Disciplinarian and co owner of the, "Red Velvet Torture Chamber", in Hollywood, CA. Affectionately known as the, "RVTC". April 19, 2001 Portland, Oregon, Rose Garden Arena now, MODA Center. I pissed off Angus Young of AC/DC for, "steeling my bloody show", as he put it. It was also his thought that I should... Well I guess you'll have to watch venussexlessinthecity.com for the rest of the story. one of many Sexless In The City tales I'll share about NOT sleeping my way to where I am.

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