And whoever does not bring up his cross and come after Me cannot be my disciple.
So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he is cannot be My disciple.
Sacrificing who and what I was, that was a miracle! I definitely wasn’t my biggest fan, that was tragic. When I walked into Christ’s home on what I’d once thought was my own, I’d needed the transformation in my life that was about to take place. At that moment, I was so sick in my heart and soul. Depressed, self destructive, even suicidal. In desperate need of a soul life make over. Completely unaware of how desperate.
A couple weeks before walking into church alone that day, I’d left my children, family and comfort zone. I’d been living a live devout of financial, emotional or spiritual support. I’d become trapped in a life of serious emotional and physical abuse cycles. I knew there was no way to heal in the place that hurt me. I had to step away from all I loved if I was going to save my life. If God was going to reach me through all the voices of my demons, I had to get myself alone to hear him.
I’d only thought I needed a whole life makeover, until I wrote this and realized it had been a soul life make over I’d been in real need of.
You put my feet in stocks
And watch closely all my paths
You set a limit for the soles of my feet
Having grown up the granddaughter of a prominent Mason, it gave me the honor of being indoctrinated into Jobs Daughters. In fact, they lowered the entry age just to get me in at 11 yrs old. Rising through the ranks, I fell in love with the story of Job, always has it been my most favorite bible story.
In my youth, I’d never have thought my life would so closely emulate one of my favorite bible heros.
My journey has been anything but easy. I’m so grateful God came for me over and over again. Doubling down on me every time I doubled down on sin. Jesus is a perfect example of doubling down on faith. And taught me to double down on my faith every time tough situations arise.
I dare claim no perfection, by no means am I nor do I think I am, but Jesus is and for that I’m grateful for the mercy on my life.
Surrendering my life and my own will that he may move my feet and place me in his design is divine. My life is a glorious testament to his will on my life. Not my own.
Over the last 2+ years since being baptized I’ve chosen to live a full happy life of abstinence. A gift I’d never known I needed. A dream life I had no idea I’d love.
Though my trials number many, God has extended my heart to forgive myself for my transgressions and I forgive my transgressors too. That I may live free from the bitter heart and lifestyle I was in submission to.
I no longer live as a recluse, powerless in my life. I accept that I don’t have to control everything. God has me and all I love in his hands and life is a beautiful blessing to be enjoyed. His plan is far better than my wildest dreams can imagine.
My life is a beautiful gift, Testament to God’s mercy and forgiveness. I couldn’t have survived all I put myself through and experienced in the last 3 years if not for my daily choice to seek God, to know Jesus, to seek to understand his great magnificent love.
Thanks Be To God For Victory Through Christ Jesus